Moving to Tumblr

I’m movin’ to Tumblr~

Why? Jesster advised restarting since I’m going slow on this blog. So, I am! Here’s the new blog link: http://emessai.tumblr.com/

Here’s to new beginnings~ *raises soda can*

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The Return of ABXY!

But maybe we should change the name? Hm. This is how me and Kelly discuss things.

Emessai Zeal 10:54 pm
DUDE!
P’FAHAHAHHA!
Easter egg.
Castle just said “Bam, said the lady!” Awesome.
Hah. I paid attention.
“Kelly Mai” 11:01 pm
Haha awesome. :]
brb
Emessai Zeal 11:01 pm
HEY! Should we change ABXY’s name?
“Kelly Mai” 11:01 pm
YES!
Cause fuck, ABXY is already taken everywhere.
Emessai Zeal 11:01 pm
I thought of “Gameversation”. xDDD
“Kelly Mai” 11:01 pm
Like evererereeverererewy wehrer.
Gameversation is lame.
brb

He’s right, but at least I thought of an alternative! He just told me Gamerfaces, ‘sept it’s an audio podcast. Oh well. Anyways, let’s talk about what ABXY is! A…gain… Hm.

ABXY is a podcast purely about gaming, gamers and game… ology, I guess. The idea is that often times people discussing games is like a choir singing the same part individually, over and over. Especially for games like Halo. But there’s so many more things to discuss about games, and everyone has a different perspective. Most people avoid talking about the games they don’t play, but when discussion is open it’s not difficult to at least ask question apply one’s unique gamer experience to a situation. That’s what ABXY is about. Bringing together gamers of all sorts and mindsets together to discuss any topic they can.

Originally, my friend Kelly Mai developed the idea of having a podcast about gaming. I think. Not that nobody else has, but he thought we should do one for our Game Club at Diamond Bar High School. I took his idea and ran a few miles, and incorporated the idea behind Sportcenter, where a buncha guys talk sports of all sorts and sizes, each with different backgrounds. However, the idea didn’t pan out as it’s difficult to get all those people in one area when I lived so far away, and most of our school was study-crazy. In the end, we decided to apply the same concept to a podcast. The gimmick, so to speak, was to change out people for each show to keep the ideas and perspectives in constant differences, thus getting opinions on games and other issues game-esque that might not emerge in a room full of Halo players. Also, this way, we could incorporate our diverse club members’ interests. The idea was to get them to talk about a single topic, and thusly cover it completely.

After five episodes, the first few of which were spent trying to figure out technical difficulties, we abandoned the project. Everyone was too busy, and we couldn’t figure out efficient solutions to the problems. Now, however, most of the clubs officers are in college, and we’ve got free time. The problem remained that it’s too difficult to talk about one topic for half an hour, so I decided to incorporate one of Kelly’s ideas from after we stopped the show. Instead of sticking to one topic and covering it in-depth, we’ll just show up to the podcast with our experiences and spark a topic, then cover it until we segway. Keep it more natural and flowing.

We’re planning to use Talkshoe again, for lack of an alternative, because it allows us to record audio without all of us having to be in the same room. The problem is it can be difficult to utilize, and does require a mic. There’s the possibility of using a phone, which negates a lot of the audio-quality issues we had, but we’re not sure if it’s a long distance call or not. Goes to IL. Anyways, I thought of a way to deal with that, but we’ll go ahead and run it just through Talkshoe the first time. Here’s how it works.

  1. Go to http://www.talkshoe.com. That might not work on Mozilla, won’t work for me anyways, so I suggest using the latest version of Safari. Works no problem.
  2. Register and Sign-in.
  3. Go here.
  4. When there’s an episode on, it should say “Live Now!” or something to that effect. It’s been forever since we’ve done this, so we’ll probably do a test at some point.
  5. The rest of the instructions should be on-screen.

There WILL be complications. It happens, we’ll deal with them.

If you’re interested in joining, I’ll be posting whose in the show each week on the blog here under the ABXY category, as well as the date of the show. It’s a once a week thing, but the day is negotiable, so is the time. What we’ll probably do is have people listen in, but stick to just the four people talking and talk past the half-hour. Edit it, then re-upload it for clarity.

Contact me:
AIM: Emessai Zeal
MSN: asura_pwner@hotmail.com (it’s old)
Facebook: Search Todd Schlickbernd
E-mail: innovation.inspiration@gmail.com

Lookin’ forward to it failing at first, then working, and us not giving up this time.

– Emessai

Time for S’more Snippets (9/27)

It’s time for another edition of “Today’s Snippets”! Yaaaay~ This episode is brought to you by lethargy and my Mom’s camera not having any memory in it.

1. I’m feelin’ pretty lethargic today. I’m always quite motivated to do stuff when other people are around, different things for different people, but every once and a while I reach these lulls where I’ll sigh a bit, shift around the blades on my 360 dashboard, talk to random people, attempt to draw stuff, and otherwise look for unordinary things for myself to do. It’s usually when I buy new games, and has nothing to do with boredom, unhappiness or anything like that. Probably just loneliness and spontaneity. It’s so unfair that I should feel alone when I have a super awesome girlfriend. But what can ya’ do~ So I’m making it go away as I type this! Yay!

2. I’m attending this club known as JVAC (Japanese Video Animation Club) and it’s like… It feels very… Bland. I’m not sure how club-oriented it is. It feels like a group of friends doing stuff and everyone else there is trying to form groups of friends to do stuff, but it’s awkward so nothing gets done. Someone’s probably saying “That’s what a club is, you fuckwit!” but it’s not, a club is supposed to be the group, we’re all supposed to enjoy each other and the agenda at the same time, more or less. I’m feelin’ so subpar vibes from the club, but I’m noticing nifty people, so we’ll see…

3. Speaking of that club, this past Thursday I met two people. Taylor… something… Eh, he calls himself “Meda”, and I met some other guy I didn’t bother to get the name of. So Meda’s actually pretty awesome, me him, his girlfriend and Kelly took on the Vidmaster Challenge: Endure achievement and finished after 135 minutes and ten seconds. Click here for a statistics. He’s a cool guy, kinda’ a Halo nut, which is fine, seems to be well-informed, his hair doesn’t match his eyebrows. Good stuff. Now this other guy, I have no clue what his name was, but I couldn’t stand him after two fucking seconds. I want to make a video telling the story of it, so I’ll put that here later.

4. Halo 3: ODST is beyond better than Halo 3. I thought the Halo 3 campaign was shallow, difficult to follow, at times annoying, at times unsatisfying, there were just so many things I didn’t enjoy about it. In fact, I rarely ever played campaign after I first beat it. One of my best friends kept asking me to help her out and I insisted against it, then did anyways and just stayed back instead of actually helping. I’m not sure if she resents that, since she claims to resent everything I do (’cause she’s a bitch like that), but she probably does. HAH.

5. I want to talk about games. Not write about games, talk about games. Writing about games is fun, I can do it, but I’d much, muchmuch rather talk about games. I want to talk about some concepts I’ve been thinking about, and I want to get other people’s opinions. Opinions from people who aren’t stupid, people who game enough to form strong opinions, and people who will disagree with me. My Mom was just playing this pinball game, and I guess it’s a compendium of old school pinball machines, and I asked her “Did you lose yet?” and her reply was, “Everybody loses. If anyone hadn’t lost, they’d still have been playing for like thirty years.”. And it sparked some nifty thought in my brain about how many games have modes that are (or are entirely based around) just getting the highest score you can before you lose. Like you have to lose, or you’ll go crazy. See? There’s a lot goin’ on here.

So if anyone wants to physically talk games, like with words, e-mail me or something. Maybe I’ll get me and Kelly’s old ABXY podcast up and running, ’cause, why not? I suppose there’s nothing holding us back, and I’m dying for some gameversation that doesn’t involve AIM. Being stuck at home with my face in a screen all day is a bitch.

Man, I have to do these too much

Okay, here we go again with an update post. I haven’t… done like ANY of the shit I wanted to do since my last update post, but oh well. Here’s things that have happened:

School

– Got into PCC
– Got my Chinese 2, Psychology 1 and English 1A classes
– Joined JVAC club (like game club + anime club at DBHS)
– Too much homework in English, Psych is kinda’ lame, Chinese 2 is awesome
– Met a few awesome people already, yay awesome.

Gaming

– Halo 3’s been fun recently for some reason.
– Been enjoying DiRT 2 a LOT, even though racing games still don’t feel right without a wheel
– Tried Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box, Champions Online, Scribblenauts and… Uhm… I think that’s it.
– Layton’s good, I’m keeping it.
– Scribble’s also good, but it won’t last long, I’ll sell it in a few weeks
– Champions Online doesn’t work without friends, thus discontinuing my account
– Can’t WAIT for ODST

Home

– Mom’s a pain
– Dad’s a failure
– I still love them both
– I’m tired of the bus
– My room is dirty, but my clothes are still mostly folded (thanks May)
– The dog hasn’t shit in my room since I almost kicked him for it
– I need to go to Ikea

Watching… Stuff

– I caught up on RvB: Recreation
– I watched all the RT Shorts, and am, once again, in love with Roosterteeth (on again off again)
– I’ve seen like 75% of the Halo 3 Top 10 Series videos
– I want to finish up The Office
– I STILL haven’t watched my Netflix DVDs (technically, I watched… parts… of Raise the Red Lantern)

Other Stuff

– It’s too hot outside
– I love my girlfriend to bits
– This scanner/printer is the greatest thing to happen to this room since my PC upgrade
– I left my memory card at Kelly’s house
– My house smells like dog
– I forgot to give Calvin his PSP back
– I still have to give Michael HIS PSP back
– I need my own PSP
– I’m having serious trouble deciding on a career
– I’m working on a game design
– It’s 1.6 thousand words long.

Okay, that’s my update. YAY LIFE! I’ll post some stuff eventually… I need to stop doing stuff other than blogging apparently.

Today’s Snippets 9 – 10 – 09

1. Megan Fox’s new movie, Jennifer’s Body, has the most ingenious advertising campaign ever. Here’s how it goes. “Hey, every heterosexual male and homosexual female, and bisexual of course, we have some Megan Fox and she’s doing sexually enticing things. Oh, also, she’s a vampire. And uhm… Oh! Oh, oh, she doesn’t just hunt men, she hunts women. And there’s also explosions, cleavage, wet female bodies, uhm… Yea! So… See you all there!” Might as well have called it “Megan Fox, the Vampire Movie”. Then they could be like “First, it was Megan Fox’s Debut, then it was Megan Fox in Slow Motion with Explosions, now it’s Megan Fox as a Vampire Vixen. Why WOULDN’T you watch this?” then there’s a big explosion or something.

2. Family Guy is funny, I can’t argue with that, but the show is barely funny if you take out all the non-plot related issues, except that the overall premise to it is usually humorous. Shows like Futurama, however, are funny within the context of the show! I suppose it was cutting edge to be funny and only relevant via flashbacks and unrelated etc. when the show first started, but then only the idea was funny, the writing comedy wasn’t good at all. Now, the comedy is well done, but I feel like I feel guilty for laughing. I often find myself saying “I can’t believe I found that funny.”

3. My iTouch is nice. I intend to scour the net for free apps that make my life wonderful, or at least “manageable”. I have this feeling that in short order I’ll be thinking “Damn I wish this was an iPhone”. Perhaps I won’t, but all these nifty internet features would inevitably be more delicious if I could always access them. Oh well, what I’ve got is actually all I wanted, so the bottom line has been satisfied. Unfortunately, for some reason like 20% of Roosterteeth’s RvB podcast doesn’t translate directly the iTouch, so it won’t work. Oh well.

4. I really want to play Halo 3. For those who know me, you know my stance on Halo, and yet the series has one thing that few console games have; a massive, dedicated fanbase with way too much free time. Now, PC games, well they have those left and right, but of the console games? Not so much. Perhaps people play too much Mass Effect or Fallout 3, but it’s difficult to get that feel when you’re just sitting there blastin’ away (I just noticed both of those games turned me off for the reason that their combat stops every ten seconds to be manageable) by yourself. But with Halo 3, there’s people everywhere, and content everywhere, and videos all over Youtube and clans and shirts and beanies and remote control cars! It’s ridiculous! And invariably, I can enjoy the experience as long as the people I play with aren’t asshats.

5. I love DiRT 2. I loved GRID. I loved Overlord. I love Overlord II. Methinks Codemasters is pretty damn good. What they seem to do that catches my eye is purely that, they find little tidbits to catch your eye. Things that people don’t do because innovation is a risk, and it doesn’t always work out. In fact, it usually does, and then gets squashed by bigger names using the same innovation. Perhaps that’s the case here, wouldn’t know personally. But no game has gotten me to enjoy watching replays more than GRID or DiRT 2, and I’ve never played a game over again to completion so many times as I have with Overlord.

– Emessai

The Small Things in Life

“May Li” 7:56 pm
I woke up late this morning. O:< But it’s okay ’cause I luffles joo.

<3

– Emessai

Fifteen Minutes of Foreign Fame

Emessai Zeal 7:10 pm
http://hphotos-snc1.fbcdn.net/hs228.snc1/7517_1164355542518_1036740298_30500392_7857508_n.jpg
Chinese newspaper.
“Justin Lin” 7:10 pm
holy shit.

That is me. I agree with Justin.

On Monday, August 31st, Pasadena City College began the Fall semester. I eagerly attended several classes since then (today is Sept. 2nd) and my first one was Chinese 2 with Wei… something. Anyways, so there was this lady she was talking to, and Wei Lao Shi said she was a reporter. I thought she was like… small time. Apparently not. By the way, I’m still not in that class yet. I came back today for the second-chance add, and there were four people who wanted to add left (six abandoned the cause). Three spots were available. You do the math.

– Emessai

P.S. Thanks to Sandy for making me aware of this odd occurrence, and Peter for finding it~

Puppy Punting and Lost Condoms~

Today is my second day of tryign to add classes at the ever-popular Pasadena City College. With all the UCs and CSUs cutting spots available and PCC cutting classes, there’s like 20+ people trying to add every fucking class I want. I rarely win lotteries, so I’ve joined enough to have probability smile a bit wider, but on a scale of 1 to 10 probability says “Don’t hold your breath.” I wasn’t going to, but then I got home to find a turd in my room.

Emessai Zeal 11:58 am
My dog shit in my room.
:]
I am having an AWESOME day.
“Napkins” 11:58 am
xD
Your dog is a jerk.
Emessai Zeal 11:58 am
My dog is goign to die in the night.
“Napkins” 11:59 am
ROFL
Dude, film it.
Emessai Zeal 12:00 pm
I should punt it onto the freeway.
Wooo, wow that was evil even for my level of anger…
But still.
“Napkins” 12:07 pm
Straight out of Anchorman, my friend.
Except they kicked a dog off a bridge.
But still.
Emessai Zeal 12:07 pm
P’fahaha. Well technically I’d be on a bridge kicking it onto a freeway below.
“Napkins” 12:08 pm
It went poo in your room.
It has it coming.
Emessai Zeal 12:08 pm
*sigh* I don’t have it in me, but sometimes I wish I did.
“Napkins” 12:09 pm
That’s what she said.

To assist in the betterment of my day, Ms. May told me a nifty story about a lady and a lost condom.

“May Li” 12:18 pm
Okay.
Okay.
So I waited in line yesterday for a parking permit. And then people were pulling out their wallets to pay for stuff in cash or card. And then there was a condomn on teh floor. And a lady picked it up and asked whom it belonged to.
Emessai Zeal 12:19 pm
Oo…
P’fahaha! What the heck, how awkward.
“May Li” 12:20 pm
Trojan condom~
Emessai Zeal 12:20 pm
Hee hee, he fell out of the horse~

She said the lady threw it away. So much speculation, what if it was HERS and she was covering her own ass? I mean, that’s not unreasonable right? And I’m assuming nobody claimed it, though surely at least one of them needed it (or it wouldn’t have a point of origin). Like I said. So much speculation.

Thanks Napkins & Sunflower (<3) for brightening this shitty (literally) day. :]

– Emessai

“May Li” 12:18 pm
Okay.
Okay.
So I waited in line yesterday for a parking permit. And then people were pulling out their wallets to pay for stuff in cash or card. And then there was a condomn on teh floor. And a lady picked it up and asked whom it belonged to.
Emessai Zeal 12:19 pm
Oo…
P’fahaha! What the heck, how awkward.
“May Li” 12:20 pm
Trojan condom~
Emessai Zeal 12:20 pm
Hee hee, he fell out of the horse~

May & Excalibus

So! Today, for what ever reason, I am up at 3:40am. I happen to know why, but instead of doing what I should on a blog, I think I’ll keep it to myself. Hardy har har. However, after stabbing you in the back with that bit of selfishness know that I have a story for you. This story was passed down from my brain and with the help of some ad-libbing from the lovely lady to whom the story was directed (and about), and told… well to her, so “you” is the lovely Ms. May. Then to you, ‘sept it was more-so told to my computer.

There’s quite a few spaces within the story where I stop and ask a question, or my lovely partner has to do something, etc. etc., so if something fails to add up it’s due to various stops along the train tracks (speaking of which I’m coming home tomorrow on a train- two to be exact). Do enjoy the story!

So… Let’s see. You’re a reader, so you take it upon yourself to read books of various genres and such. One day when reading a rather abstract mythology book, you come upon a story of a magic wand. This magic wand could be used for to create anything anything! A weapon, skin, a chair, etc. Having nothing to do at that time and being keen on travel, you decided you’d locate the suspicious wand via the description in the book.

And set forth you did. Disguising your treasure hunting endeavors as a result of indecisive college-hopping, you toured the globe in search of landmarks.

Whilst touring the campus in Sweden, you catch word of some icy cavernbeing found in a dig site up in the region of the mountains contained within the Arctic Circle.

So! You sally forth into the mountains, blending in amongst the other college students who wish to satiate their explorer’s spirits. One night after reaching the town of Kiruna, a group of college students goes missing, mysteriously.

You and your comrade Todd awake in the night to the sound of rustling tents and the faint lights of lanterns being flickered on here and there. You wonder what’s going on.

You throw on your gear and rush out of the tent, Todd not far behind. Small search parties are being formed, so you jump in with two other students and search off in a random direction.


The nights up in Kiruna are as cold as a night within the Arctic Circle should be, and numerous times you wish to go back. However, as you’ve traveled on you’ve noticed a land mark or two, and you confide in Todd that you believe you might be close. The other two members wonder what you’re up to, and begin to suspect.


Through fatigue, you persevere. The sun begins to rise, and in the red light filtering through the misty mountains you see the final landmark. Cautiously, you motion to Todd to hurry up. Just as he started towards you, the other two grab his arms, and demand you surrender your gear. You play feign ignorance and counter-demand they release you, but they’re on to you. Apparently, they’ve been noticing the landmarks too, though not as quick as you, and they want in. You don’t trust ’em, but you feel it wouldn’t be worth it to move on without your lover, so a deal is struck.

They ask where the last mark is, and you shine your flashlight into a nearby cave. The two of them nod to each other, let go of Todd and rush off into the cave. You start to admonish them about the end of the story and the possible presence of yetis, but half of you doesn’t believe in yetis, and half of you couldn’t care less if they were eaten by them.


So you let them dissipate into the darkness, as Todd thanks you for choosing him over the prize. After a brief show of affection, he exclaims that we can’t let them get too far ahead. And again, half of you doesn’t believe in yetis, and half of you would rather not have Todd be eaten by them.


You grab Todd’s hand before he can dash off to eagerly, and warn him of the mysterious yetis. He gives you a puzzled look, but your countenance tells him to forego the silliness of the matter and consider it of the utmost reality. With caution in step, and ambition in mind, the couple set off in search of the magical instrument; and perhaps a pair of carcasses they once made brief acquaintance with.


After quite a while of cavernous exploration, the two grow weary of the length of their time spent within the cave. You sigh heavily in exasperation, having just realized you’ve neglected to secure a way back to the entrance. Todd reassures you he can navigate you back, but even in your trust you’re not so sure.

Regardless of your doubt, you press on, sure that you must reaching somewhere significant by now. Rounding a corner, your suspicions are confirmed. As Todd comes up behind you, your arm jets out, encouraging him to stop. The scene unfolding before you is a disturbing one, and a troubling one at that.

Your two acquaintances were being chased about a decent sized room, if you could call it such a thing, by a large, blue-ish beast with copious fur and fearfully large horns- not to mention the face of an ox. It snarled and thrashed wildly at the two, as if it unable to make up its mind on which of the two to rip in twain first.

Todd looked at you, then slowly at the beast. Then back toward you. You nodded; it was a yeti alright. The beasts had been told in the story to be the guardians of the object, curious to its implementation but unable to wield it. So they protected it, believing that whoever could take the wand was the one who truly knew of its capabilities.

Your gaze caught something on what looked to be a sort-of ice pedestal. It was the wand, thrust midways into the top of the altar, begging to be removed, and daring all to try. You heard a shrill scream as the yeti nearly missed the female, scattering the contents of her until-recently clean looking backpack across the floor.

Something else caught your eye; a knife. Todd looked at you, then at the knife, and assured you he’d buy you time-enough to get the wand out. You expressed your discomfort with this idea, and worried that there was no way you’d be able to remove the wand. But you knew him, at that point you might as well have been arguing with a wall, and so instead you sent him off with an affectionate kiss and quite serious wish of caution and safe return.

You watched for a moment as he dashed at the knife, swept it into his hands and charged at the yeti like a courageous, glorious moron with a cause. Regaining focus, you sprinted to the wand and with a quick examination, began tugging at it relentlessly. A sudden sadness befell you; you couldn’t get it out.

You yelled for help, but Todd and the others had their hands full fending off the gargantuan monster, who didn’t appreciate being stabbed with a small piece of sharp metal much at all. You beckoned to Todd, requesting a trade, you’d take the knife and he’d get the wand, but there was no way to make a diversion.

Then suddenly the yeti managed to backhand the male of the two, sending him flying into Todd whom promptly lost hold of the knife. As it clanged and clinked across ice, you had an epiphany, as if brought on by the urgency of your situation. The solution was cruelly simple: melt the ice. With frequent glances back at Todd to comfort your rising panic attack, you scrambled into your pockets for your lighter. You pulled it out, too suddenly even, and nearly fumbled it in your haste.

Another yell, but you couldn’t risk a look, you simply had faith that Todd was all right. Flipping open the lighter, you pressed it close to the ice. The flame lit, and you stared intently, so intently that it seemed the fire would melt your eyes. Patience wore thin, so you smashed the bottom of the lighter on the ice and lit the top. The spark caught the lighter fluid and lit up like an oil spill gone bad.

The flame burns away, steadily melting the icy prison. When the fire gets low enough, you wrap your hands around the wand and yank heartily, with all your might!

As the fire begins to dissipate in the cold cavern air, you give one last mighty hurrah and the wand cracks loose! You spin on your heel, poised and ready to use it, when you realize you have absolutely no idea what to do with it. Not only that, but Todd appears to be pinned down, with fighting off the yeti with what appears to be a stainless steel frying pan. The other man is beside him unconscious, and the female is nowhere to be found. You glance at the wand. Inscribed in it are the words “Excalibus”.

Todd manages to break away from the yeti long enough to roll to the side. He shouts for you to use it, throw it if you have to, but do something. With not a clue of what to do and only a necessity for something to happen, you whirl it around aimlessly and yell something between “Excalibus” and “Raaaaah”.

You hear a fizzle.

The wand crackles and sputters and makes all kinds of flashy lights, but nothing happens. Even the yeti’s stopped in awe, fearing for its life, all ready to accept you as worthy. Todd had ducked his head down and covered it with the frying pan. Glancing up, he sees that nothing happened. You throw out an exasperated, emphatic sort of obscenity and throw the wand into the ice below the yeti’s feet.

Just then, a massive explosion of yellowish light emits from the wand. The light grows and parts to form an icy prison that envelops the yeti like a jail cell. The yeti, once poised to punish, calms and sits, as if in reverence of your apparent mastery of the wand’s functionality.

Todd looks up and scoffs, then begins to laugh heartily and rolls on the ice, tossing the frying pan in some random direction. You burst out in laughter as well, unaware as the frying pan flies over your shoulder. You lend him a hand and a shoulder to help him off the frigid floor as the two of you laugh triumphantly.

As the two of you express your mirth, the female returns and expresses her gratitude for saving her life. Remembering what she had done before, along with her male cohort, you give her a grim smirk and retrieve the wand. Still having no idea of how the wand works, you simply recreate the motion and, “evocation” from before and cast the wand at her feet.

Again, a bright yellow glow emanates from the wand and encases the girl and the unconscious man in an icy prison, seamlessly connected to the bars of the yeti’s place of incarceration.

You tell the two of their wrongdoing, and ask Todd to retrieve the battered knife and frying pan. Handing the two tools to the pair, you wish them good luck in their prison escape and leave them with an instructional glance at a hungry yeti.

With so much time passing, the sun was in full effect, and light spewed into the cavern like so many lit chandeliers. As it happens, the cave wasn’t deep at all, but in your thoughtfulness pertaining to your lack of a sense of direction, you trusted someone with just as bad of one. Todd looked at you with a bit of a laugh and a smirk and asked if it was time to go.

It was, and go you did. To become what, you didn’t know, but you were sure you’d find a way to punish those who fought with underhanded tactics and bastardly antics, with your own bit of silly yet ultimate magical consequence.

– Emessai

Postscript: I dedicate this story to May. Duh.

So… Let’s see. You’re a reader, so you take it upon yourself to read books of various genres and such. One day when reading a rather abstract mythology book, you come upon a story of a magic wand. This magic wand could be used for to create anything anything! A weapon, skin, a chair, etc. Having nothing to do at that time and being keen on travel, you decided you’d locate the suspicious wand via the description in the book.
And set forth you did. Disguising your treasure hunting endeavors as a result of indecisive college-hopping, you toured the globe in search of landmarks.
Whilst touring the campus in Sweden, you catch word of some icy cavernbeing found in a dig site up in the region of the mountains contained within the Arctic Circle.
So! You sally forth into the mountains, blending in amongst the other college students who wish to satiate their explorer’s spirits. One night after reaching the town of Kiruna, a group of college students goes missing, mysteriously.
You and your comrade Todd awake in the night to the sound of rustling tents and the faint lights of lanterns being flickered on here and there. You wonder what’s going on.
You throw on your gear and rush out of the tent, Todd not far behind. Small search parties are being formed, so you jump in with two other students and search off in a random direction.
The nights up in Kiruna are as cold as a night within the Arctic Circle should be, and numerous times you wish to go back. However, as you’ve traveled on you’ve noticed a land mark or two, and you confide in Todd that you believe you might be close. The other two members wonder what you’re up to, and begin to suspect.
Through fatigue, you persevere. The sun begins to rise, and in the red light filtering through the misty mountains you see the final landmark. Cautiously, you motion to Todd to hurry up. Just as he started towards you, the other two grab his arms, and demand you surrender your gear. You play feign ignorance and counter-demand they release you, but they’re on to you. Apparently, they’ve been noticing the landmarks too, though not as quick as you, and they want in. You don’t trust ’em, but you feel it wouldn’t be worth it to move on without your lover, so a deal is struck. They ask where the last mark is, and you shine your flashlight into a nearby cave. The two of them nod to each other, let go of Todd and rush off into the cave. You start to admonish them about the end of the story and the possible presence of yetis, but half of you doesn’t believe in yetis, and half of you couldn’t care less if they were eaten by them.
So you let them dissipate into the darkness, as Todd thanks you for choosing him over the prize. After a brief show of affection, he exclaims that we can’t let them get too far ahead. And again, half of you doesn’t believe in yetis, and half of you would rather not have Todd be eaten by them.
You grab Todd’s hand before he can dash off to eagerly, and warn him of the mysterious yetis. He gives you a puzzled look, but your countenance tells him to forego the silliness of the matter and consider it of the utmost reality. With caution in step, and ambition in mind, the couple set off in search of the magical instrument; and perhaps a pair of carcasses they once made brief acquaintance with.
After quite a while of cavernous exploration, the two grow weary of the length of their time spent within the cave. You sigh heavily in exasperation, having just realized you’ve neglected to secure a way back to the entrance. Todd reassures you he can navigate you back, but even in your trust you’re not so sure.

Regardless of your doubt, you press on, sure that you must reaching somewhere significant by now. Rounding a corner, your suspicions are confirmed. As Todd comes up behind you, your arm jets out, encouraging him to stop. The scene unfolding before you is a disturbing one, and a troubling one at that.
Your two acquaintances were being chased about a decent sized room, if you could call it such a thing, by a large, blue-ish beast with copious fur and fearfully large horns- not to mention the face of an ox. It snarled and thrashed wildly at the two, as if it unable to make up its mind on which of the two to rip in twain first.
Todd looked at you, then slowly at the beast. Then back toward you. You nodded; it was a yeti alright. The beasts had been told in the story to be the guardians of the object, curious to its implementation but unable to wield it. So they protected it, believing that whoever could take the wand was the one who truly knew of its capabilities.

Your gaze caught something on what looked to be a sort-of ice pedestal. It was the wand, thrust midways into the top of the altar, begging to be removed, and daring all to try. You heard a shrill scream as the yeti nearly missed the female, scattering the contents of her until-recently clean looking backpack across the floor.
Something else caught your eye; a knife. Todd looked at you, then at the knife, and assured you he’d buy you time-enough to get the wand out. You expressed your discomfort with this idea, and worried that there was no way you’d be able to remove the wand. But you knew him, at that point you might as well have been arguing with a wall, and so instead you sent him off with an affectionate kiss and quite serious wish of caution and safe return.
You watched for a moment as he dashed at the knife, swept it into his hands and charged at the yeti like a courageous, glorious moron with a cause. Regaining focus, you sprinted to the wand and with a quick examination, began tugging at it relentlessly. A sudden sadness befell you; you couldn’t get it out.
You yelled for help, but Todd and the others had their hands full fending off the gargantuan monster, who didn’t appreciate being stabbed with a small piece of sharp metal much at all. You beckoned to Todd, requesting a trade, you’d take the knife and he’d get the wand, but there was no way to make a diversion.
Then suddenly the yeti managed to backhand the male of the two, sending him flying into Todd whom promptly lost hold of the knife. As it clanged and clinked across ice, you had an epiphany, as if brought on by the urgency of your situation. The solution was cruelly simple: melt the ice. With frequent glances back at Todd to comfort your rising panic attack, you scrambled into your pockets for your lighter. You pulled it out, too suddenly even, and nearly fumbled it in your haste.

Another yell, but you couldn’t risk a look, you simply had faith that Todd was all right. Flipping open the lighter, you pressed it close to the ice. The flame lit, and you stared intently, so intently that it seemed the fire would melt your eyes. Patience wore thin, so you smashed the bottom of the lighter on the ice and lit the top. The spark caught the lighter fluid and lit up like an oil spill gone bad.
The flame burns away, steadily melting the icy prison. When the fire gets low enough, you wrap your hands around the wand and yank heartily, with all your might!
As the fire begins to dissipate in the cold cavern air, you give one last mighty hurrah and the wand cracks loose! You spin on your heel, poised and ready to use it, when you realize you have absolutely no idea what to do with it. Not only that, but Todd appears to be pinned down, with fighting off the yeti with what appears to be a stainless steel frying pan. The other man is beside him unconscious, and the female is nowhere to be found. You glance at the wand. Inscribed in it are the words “Excalibus”.
Todd manages to break away from the yeti long enough to roll to the side. He shouts for you to use it, throw it if you have to, but do something. With not a clue of what to do and only a necessity for something to happen, you whirl it around aimlessly and yell something between “Excalibus” and “Raaaaah”.
You hear a fizzle.
The wand crackles and sputters and makes all kinds of flashy lights, but nothing happens. Even the yeti’s stopped in awe, fearing for its life, all ready to accept you as worthy. Todd had ducked his head down and covered it with the frying pan. Glancing up, he sees that nothing happened. You throw out an exasperated, emphatic sort of obscenity and throw the wand into the ice below the yeti’s feet.
Just then, a massive explosion of yellowish light emits from the wand. The light grows and parts to form an icy prison that envelops the yeti like a jail cell. The yeti, once poised to punish, calms and sits, as if in reverence of your apparent mastery of the wand’s functionality.
Todd looks up and scoffs, then begins to laugh heartily and rolls on the ice, tossing the frying pan in some random direction. You burst out in laughter as well, unaware as the frying pan flies over your shoulder. You lend him a hand and a shoulder to help him off the frigid floor as the two of you laugh triumphantly.
As the two of you express your mirth, the female returns and expresses her gratitude for saving her life. Remembering what she had done before, along with her male cohort, you give her a grim smirk and retrieve the wand. Still having no idea of how the wand works, you simply recreate the motion and, “evocation” from before and cast the wand at her feet.
Again, a bright yellow glow emanates from the wand and encases the girl and the unconscious man in an icy prison, seamlessly connected to the bars of the yeti’s place of incarceration.
You tell the two of their wrongdoing, and ask Todd to retrieve the battered knife and frying pan. Handing the two tools to the pair, you wish them good luck in their prison escape and leave them with an instructional glance at a hungry yeti.
With so much time passing, the sun was in full effect, and light spewed into the cavern like so many lit chandeliers. As it happens, the cave wasn’t deep at all, but in your thoughtfulness pertaining to your lack of a sense of direction, you trusted someone with just as bad of one. Todd looked at you with a bit of a laugh and a smirk and asked if it was time to go.
It was, and go you did. To become what, you didn’t know, but you were sure you’d find a way to punish those who fought with underhanded tactics and bastardly antics, with your own bit of silly yet ultimate magical consequence.

All Nighter… Wootlewpz~

The fatal flaw of all television shows is the intros. The outros. Anything that divulges the importance of any specific cast members, especially in a show like The Office. With the whole… fake-reality show thing. For instance, I like the whole Karen angle (I’m on Season 3, halfway through), but I know it’ll amount to moot ’cause she’s not in the intro. In the end, Pam wins. Doodly. That makes me unhappy. I want my TV shows… to… just scare the shit out of me. Stuff shouldn’t be predictable, shouldn’t be… there should just be no clairvoyance! None. Do it.

LISTEN TO ME TV!

– Emessai

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